10 More Things That Are Awesome About Me

1. I have no sisters and no daughters.

2. I'm allergic to cats and dogs.

3. Ioan Gruffudd is my favorite actor.

4. I served a mission in Frankfurt Germany.

5. I've been flashed (on my mission).

6. I've had a bird poop on me (on my mission).

7. I made wedding dresses for two of my friends, but I bought mine.

8. I'm an introvert.

9. I can't roll my tongue.

10. I stress about money.

THE GOAT I ALMOST KILLED AT DISNEY WORLD

Alternative Title "The Thieving, Pickpocketing Goat Who Tried to Eat My Batteries."

This happened a whole year ago, but I wasn't a blogger then, so amuse me. I have been wanting to write about this memorable experience for a while, but I keep getting sidetracked blogging about really important things like light bulbs and blankies named "Booger".



This is Lucas, he lives in the petting area at Disney World's Animal Kingdom. We were enjoying a wonderful 7-day vacation at Disney World. During our first day at the Animal Kingdom, we took a train out to the area where Lucas lives. The boys enjoyed feeding and brushing the animals, while I took pictures like a good mom. My stupid camera at that time drained rechargeable AA batteries faster than anything, so of course they died. I sat down on a bench and changed them. The dead batteries were put into a Ziploc bag and then into my cute, little, black, leather backpack. While I was sitting there, a nice looking goat came up to me. I started petting him and talking to him, he was so friendly.


Before I could react, he had his head in my backpack. I started yelling at him and trying to push his head out. He removed his head with the first thing he got his mouth on, my dead batteries. Then he took off running while chewing my batteries. "Oh no!" I yelled, "Help! That goat is eating my batteries!" A couple of workers tried to catch him, but he was too fast. I was explaining what he was eating and how he got it in his mouth. One worker told me, "That's why we tell people to keep their bags closed."

I felt so bad! I had just killed a possible one-of-a-kind-rare-African-Asian-South American goat. He was going to die a horrible, battery acid eating away his stomach death because I had been so careless. My vacation was ruined!

After a while, Lucas spit out my bag-o-batteries and a worker grabbed them. They took them to a lab and decided that the batteries were intact and everything would be OK. Another worker told me it wasn't my fault and that Lucas had a history of pick-pocketing thievery. I walked around the petting area looking for warning signs to keep your bags closed, and there weren't any! I didn't feel so bad after that. I took a picture of naughty Lucas and we left the area. I'm glad he didn't get my wallet, tampons or camera.

We didn't go back there on our second day to the Animal Kingdom and no, I didn't get my batteries back! So if you ever go there, keep your bags closed.

A Rant, Two Raves, and Major Skepticism

First my rant, These bulbs suck are not very good.

I heard they save energy and everything, but have you ever tried sewing under them? Do they want me to go blind?

They also give me headaches, and have mercury in them. So don't break them!


I will say one nice thing about them. They last a lot longer than regular bulbs. So that's cool, because I hate changing light bulbs. I do have them in my halls, but not in my craft corner.






Now for my two raves.

1. have you tried this cereal? Yum, I don't like it as cereal with milk, but with vanilla ice cream, and my runny freezer raspberry jam it is so good. It's like the topping on an apple crisp. It's even good just out of the box.

2. Thank you Sister Hall! She is the best Primary teacher ever. After church on Sunday, Marcus ran up to me all excited, "Mom, Mom, you're the boss! That means I need to obey you!" He showed me is paper from Primary with commandments on it. It worked all day Sunday. When he started getting sassy, I reminded him that I was the boss and he obeyed me. Yesterday, not so much. Oh well.

OK, here is my major skepticism.

Cash 4 Gold. Have you ever seen this commercial? Really, are you going to put your gold in an envelope, mail it, and expect a check? Has anyone ever done this? Seriously? Am I being too skeptical? It's a good thing I don't have any extra gold lying around my house, or I might be tempted.

OK, no more stalling Diane, it is time to get back to cleaning the house and getting ready for Cub Scouts.

Following Up on My New Year's Resolutions

A few weeks ago I posted my resolutions for 2009. I am happy to tell you that I have been doing a pretty good job at them. I still haven't taken up smoking or eating dark chocolate. I'm working on my work-out routine and we have been having Family Home Evening. I am very proud of this.

But, there is one thing I am failing at. I forget to put lipstick on before I go out a lot! Sometimes I go out without any makeup! Help! How can I make this resolution a reality?

10 More Way Interesting Things About Me

1. My kids call me "Darth Mom".

2. I don't like to exercise.

3. I'm a scrapbook freak.

4. I started high school when I was 12, but not because I was super smart or anything. (long story)

5. I've had plastic surgery.

6. I need braces.

7. I like to watch reality TV like "Amazing Race", "Survivor", and all the dancing shows, but the romantic ones like the "Bachelor" creep me out.

8. I am practically musically illiterate.

9. I collect Santas.

10. I've had 3 C-sections.

I am getting more and more interesting!

Parent Job Description

My girlfriend just sent this to me. This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Ma, Mama
Dad, Daddy, Pa, Papa

JOB DESCRIPTION

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job. ** AND A FOOTNOTE ? ** THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!

BOOGER

A few weeks ago, I was messing around on the computer, probably blogging or something. I had given my boys some broth without any bread, and spanked them all soundly and sent them to bed. The next thing I know Marcus is standing in the office doorway.

"Why are you still up!!!!!!" I asked gently.

"I can't find my Booger!"

"What are you talking about?" Usually he has no problem finding his boogers.

"Nathan hid my booger! I can't find it!" Marcus cried.

Then I remembered, "Oh, that booger." and we looked for his blue and yellow blankie that Nathan had just started calling Booger.

And you thought this post was going to be about dried nasal secretions.

I've wanted to scrapbook about my sons' blankies for a long time, but I always forget to take pictures of them. Blogging has inspired me and I finally got around to it.

This is Marcus with "Booger". My Aunt Deann made it for him when he was born. She made all my boys quilts, but Marcus is the only one who chose his quilt as "The One". It use to look a lot nicer, but it's still holding up. He loves his "Booger" and his brothers love hiding it from him. That makes Mom and Dad freak out every other night because he won't go to sleep without his blanket.






Travis' blankie use to be a pure-white-soft-as-can-be, fleece blanket. I received it as a shower gift from a friend at church. Travis was a preemie and I use to wrap him in this blanket all the time. He soon chose it as "The One". He calls his blanket "White", but I call it "Grey", "Holey", "Stinky" and "Limpy". It has seen better days and I can't stand the way it smells. It is very versatile though, and Travis can wear it as a scarf, or a poncho. He still takes it to school in is backpack. Travis is truly a Linus.




This is what is left of Nathan's "B". My mom gave Nathan his blanket. It was one of those woven blankets with the satin edging. Nathan loved "B" and used it until it was just a shredded mass of fibers. A couple of years ago, he told me he didn't need "B" anymore. I didn't have the heart to throw it away, so "B" now lives in my cedar chest. I was really sad when he decided he didn't need his blanket anymore.

Ten Things About Me

I am working on a list of 100 things about me, but I know nobody would want to read my 100 super interesting things all at once and since I haven't finished my list I thought I would start with 10.

1. I have a large collection of Charles Wysocki puzzles.

2. I think any movie with ABBA music in it must be a great film.

3. I love making lists.

4. My husband and I were set up by my best friend.

5. I have three blue and white graduation tassels from the high school, college, and university I graduated from.

6. I am a terrible speller.

7. I'm a fabric whore.

8. I still play with dolls.

9. I like to watch old movies just to see the costumes.

10. I like to eat the same thing for breakfast every morning.

Am I interesting or what?

"You Have a Good Sense of Humor For a Mormon."

I felt like posting something tonight, and since it's now boring January and it is pouring rain outside, and there is nothing super exciting to blog about right now, I decided to write about some things that happened long before I discovered blogging.

Years ago when I lived in Port Orchard I went to the dentist. Isn't that exciting? I was yacking it up, being my witty self, with the dental hygienist while she was getting ready to clean my teeth. Somehow it came up that I was LDS. After she had her hands in my mouth, she states, "You have a good sense of humor for a Mormon."

"Thank you." I mumble around her hands. I really couldn't say more, but then I started thinking, "Hey! What's that suppose to mean? Mormons are very funny!"

I haven't laughed so hard since I started reading "Mormon Mommy Blogs". You all are hilarious.

I still need to write about how I almost killed a goat a Disney World. I think that will be a funny story.

2008 Quiz

Stole this from Tiberon. Feel free to play along...

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Our family went to Disney World in January and I went to a doll convention in September. Two things I have always wanted to do, and they were both in Orlando.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't remember my last year's resolutions, but probably not. My new resolutions are in my last post.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not really.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No.

5. What countries did you visit? Does New England count as a country?

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? More self discipline.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Our Disney World trip, Mother's Day (see # 10), the doll convention, Newport in August, and Bert's change of command in August.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? What is your biggest failure? Taking care of my family and gaining weight.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I had an appendectomy on Mother's Day, good times!

11. What was the best thing you bought? My Roomba.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? We were all bad and naughty this year.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Politicians and the media.

14. Where did most of your money go? To our mortgage, the government, the church, and Jo Ann's Fabrics.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My doll convention.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? Neither, but concerned about a few things. b) thinner or fatter? Fatter, I've gained 10 pounds! c) richer or poorer? About the same, but worried about a possible strike and/or furlough at my husband's airline.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Exercising, of course!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Eating and wasting time.

20. How did you spend Christmas? With my little family, it was very nice.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yes, with blogging.

22. What was your favorite TV program? None right now, but I really like "Cold Case".

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No.

24. What was the best book you read? I can't really say, but I did read a lot of books.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Libera and Rock Band 2.

26. What did you want and get? I got my roomba, and Bert gave me a three stone diamond ring for Christmas. He said it is all my past, present, and future gifts for a long time.

27. What did you want and not get? I can't think of anything.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I don't really have one, but I did like "Twilight".

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 42 in September. I happened to be at the doll convention, so my husband told me "Happy Birthday!"

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Job security and a magical weight loss.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Soccer Mom frump.

32. What kept you sane? My hobbies.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I love Ioan Gruffudd.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The Presidential Election.

35. Who did you miss? The friends that I have lost contact with.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I met many wonderful online friends at my doll convention. (I think that's the 4th or 5th time I've mentioned the convention!)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Don't trust the government or the media and don't get too comfortable.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. I can't think of one.

See, wasn't that fun?